WIP-It Wednesday

stay up for hours just watching her breathe

I didn’t know how to express the feelings I experienced. Hell, they barely felt like feelings. They felt like exhaustion, commitment, obligation. It was slogging and difficult work.

Anything and everything I had done in my life for the past eight years I revisited with tweezers and magnifying glass scrutiny. How could I have changed the outcome? Why didn’t I have the outcome I thought I wanted. How could I go back and change everything?

I began having dreams where I could time travel and now-me would tell past me to make little changes.

I would wake up because I couldn’t breathe.

My apartment felt confining, constricting. I ran outside just to breathe more than once. I had waking nightmares of dropping Myrna. At those times I would look into the side crib, assure myself that everything was alright, and then stay up for hours just watching Myrna breathe. She was here, she was safe.

I hadn’t forgotten to feed her or change her diapers. I hadn’t left her someplace and then not been able to remember.

I started to look up my foibles so many times. Each time I either couldn’t complete filling out the search field, or I would not click on the links.

When I finally clicked on one of the links I fell down a rabbit hole of patient cure thyself bull. Blogs that looked like they had useful articles denied the existence of postpartum depression, others tried to sell me essential oils to get out of my funk. And too many of them assumed I had a partner who could help me with my burden of guilt.

©2019 Lulu M. Sylvian,currently untitled from the Phantom Stars Trilogy

NaNo Report

NaNo-2018-Winner-Twitter-Header

This year I finished NaNoWrimo with 54,114 words.
I am miles and mile from where this story needs to be, so I’m excited to keep working on it.

This one doesn’t have a title yet. It’s a paranormal romance between a set designer, a hot actor, and the ghost of a different hot actor.

Here is a sneak peek:

The street view of his house wasn’t anything much, mostly a garage door, a small entry and a solid wall of grey stucco. Once through the entry there was a tiny courtyard with a fountain, and then the entry into the house. Stunning didn’t adequately describe his home. Inside everything was hard angles, concrete and glass modern. Outside it was all air and view.

 I hated the inadequacy I felt pulling into Liam’s neighborhood. It was that cosmic slam of not being able to properly provide for my daughter. The universe reminding me again, that I lived in a garage, and I would never be able to afford a home like this even though I had a good job that paid well. It’s not like I even wanted to live here. Sure the house was great, but this really wasn’t a neighborhood, it was a street with access to houses. No yards, no sidewalks, and no parking. Liam was lucky because he actually had a small driveway with off-street parking.

©2018 Lulu M Sylvian

WIP-It Wednesday the Nano addition

egypt-image

I quietly walked over to where Liam stood and showed him the can. He nodded. I might as well do my job while Glenn was on a tear.

“Why are you still doing that?”

I jumped at Glenn’s loud tirade now directed at me. “He hasn’t gotten any sun for days now.”

I looked at the man like he had lost it completely. I held up the can. “Right, it’s working because I put sunscreen on him throughout the shoot.”

Never considered that Sunscreen Consultant would be a job I held. Glenn just stared at me, holding my gaze. So far it had been an odd week, starting with him pulling me away from my job on set to manage Sebastian Hale’s pale skin.

Every morning I met Liam and applied thick creamy lotion to his ridiculous shoulders and ticklish knees. And every morning I had to insist he do his own chest and abs. I let my hands glide over his skin and up and over the ridges of muscle in his arms and back, probably enjoying the touch a bit too much. He stood there oblivious to my presence, focused on his phone, thumbs flying over text messages.

He wasn’t exactly impolite, he was just used to having people wait on his snobby ass hand and foot. If he wasn’t a job, I wouldn’t even attempt to speak to him. But I did have to tell him how to stand and move so I could rub him down. And why not try to get as much enjoyment out of a job as possible? It’s not like anything would ever happen between us. I seriously doubt Liam James would be able to pick me out of a lineup of tall black men, and I am most definitely not tall or a man. And I’m about as far from black as you can get without being an albino.

Glenn nodded and I was allowed to go back to my little chair in the back and wait until the next time I needed to spray down the star.

©2018 Lulu M Sylvian, currently untitled from the Second Endings Trilogy

Happy Publishing Birthday to ME!

This time last year my published work of fiction was released!

Twelve Strippers of Christmas coming October 2017

The Twelve Strippers of Christmas was the result of an epic challenge, and being the slightly competitive person that I was, I stepped in it.

Most authors will tell you, they are tempted by the “Oh shiny” prospect of the next story, another idea in the middle of a deadline. Two years ago my distractions kept coming in the form of male strippers. They were dancing in, and flexing muscles and demanding my attention.

I described this problem to a few writer friends, and the solution to write short stories to “get these guys out of your hair” was proposed. Which somehow led to a discussion of when to release for holiday novels, which led to:

“If anyone can write a bunch of Christmas strippers
it’s going to be you.”

How could I not prove her right?

Want to know more about the stories in The Twelve Strippers? Click here to find out more, and for all the buy links!

Complete is here!

Happy Book Birthday

As far as Bobby is aware, he is the only one of his kind—a true lone wolf. He fills his days with running his bar, and his nights with emotionless encounters. After all, hooking up with him, the self-proclaimed town man-whore, is as easy as crashing into his buggy in the grocery store. Everything changes when he sees an angel.

When new math teacher Ramona moves to town, Bobby sees a glow around her and is convinced she’s the angel he can finally trust with what he really is. He just has to get her to trust him first…

Ramona is no angel; she’s run away from a relationship gone bad in the big city, to a small town where football is king. The last thing she needs or wants is the town playboy pursuing her. She doesn’t want a man. Doesn’t need one. Her focus is on making sure the star quarterback passes high school math. Her plans fly out the window when Bobby makes an oddball request.

Bobby finally finds a way to be with her—convincing her she can teach him how to be friends with a woman—he’s put himself in the worst position. He has Ramona, but not the way he wants. She’s learning to trust him, but his reputation is holding her back. Can Bobby trust her with the secret he’s managed to keep his whole life? Or will his past put Ramona in danger?

NOW AVAILABLE!

AMAZON • KOBO • NOOK • IBOOKS •  GOOGLE

 

Screen Shot 2018-06-25 at 8.30.45 PM

Longing Release day! Happy Book Birthday!

_Longing_final design-B

Longing, Legatum 4

Lucy has a dangerous past, one she thought she left behind. She abandoned every element of it except for one, her best friend Shane. Now the life she has created is shattering, and Lucy finds herself clinging to Shane for support.

Shane hates everything about his past and prefers to live as if certain events never occurred. Except for one, meeting Lucy. He can’t let Lucy go, he can’t have her either.

A chain of events puts Shane in Lucy’s presence in time to be there for her while her marriage falls apart and as her troubling past weaves its way back into her life. In order to have a future with him, she goes in search of closure, only to discover her past holds more deceptive secrets than she ever imagined.

 

Now available

AMAZON •  KOBO  • NOOK • IBOOKS • GOOGLE 

Complete, now available for pre-sale

Screen Shot 2018-06-25 at 8.30.45 PM

Complete, Legatum Book 5

As far as Bobby is aware, he is the only one of his kind—a true lone wolf. He fills his days with running his bar, and his nights with emotionless encounters. After all, hooking up with him, the self-proclaimed town man-whore, is as easy as crashing into his buggy in the grocery store. Everything changes when he sees an angel.

When new math teacher Ramona moves to town, Bobby sees a glow around her and is convinced she’s the angel he can finally trust with what he really is. He just has to get her to trust him first…

Ramona is no angel; she’s run away from a relationship gone bad in the big city, to a small town where football is king. The last thing she needs or wants is the town playboy pursuing her. She doesn’t want a man. Doesn’t need one. Her focus is on making sure the star quarterback passes high school math. Her plans fly out the window when Bobby makes an oddball request.

Bobby finally finds a way to be with her—convincing her she can teach him how to be friends with a woman—he’s put himself in the worst position. He has Ramona, but not the way he wants. She’s learning to trust him, but his reputation is holding her back. Can Bobby trust her with the secret he’s managed to keep his whole life? Or will his past put Ramona in danger?

now available

Available now for 99 cent pre-sale!

AMAZON – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G758JRH?ref_=pe_3052080_276849420
KOBO – https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/complete-10
NOOK – https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/complete-lulu-m-sylvian/1129241045?ean=2940161586372
IBOOKS – https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/complete/id1422558244?mt=11
GOOGLE – https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Lulu_M_Sylvian_Complete?id=q1tnDwAAQBAJ

Complete: WIP-IT Wednesday

A pre-edited sneak peak at the 5th Legatum book.

tree-3352202_640

“Homework?” He asked, resting on the opposite bench for a moment.

“Yep, grading. I was hoping a change of scenery and some food would make this easier.” She rubbed the back of her neck.

“That sounds like it’s not working.”

“It’s not. I don’t know.” She rested her cheek in her palm, elbow resting on the table. She stared at the papers. “The students need an algebra brick upside their heads and I need a bubble bath.”

“The thing that always helped me with math, was context.” Bobby leaned back looking at the other customers, seeing if he was needed. He was. “I’ll be back.” He stood and left.

Ramona was still staring at the papers, she hadn’t moved when he returned with her french fries.

She popped a hot fry in her mouth, and chewed.

“As I was saying, context. I could care less about watermelons, but when Brad helped me he always put it into terms of the shop. How many cars how many parts, how to know what to order next. Have you tried that yet?”

“I need to. They were talking about that at my last school. How to prepare for the zombie apocalypse, food storage and stuff. How many cans of peaches to survive the first winter. How fast your gun shoots, how many bullets you need. That’s not a bad idea actually. I’m going to have to go over all of this again, why not. Thanks Bobby.” She popped another fry into her mouth, and smiled. “I’m going to need a burger for while I grade the rest of this.”

“BLT burger or you looking to branch out?”

“I’m going to live dangerously, can you add cheese to that?”

Bobby chuckled, “You are living dangerously.”

Ramona picked up the next paper in front of her. Teaching math with zombies, might actually work. She just hoped it wouldn’t get her into trouble with Principal Grover. He seemed to like to keep a tight reign on standards and how lessons were presented. The homework assignments seemed to get worse and worse as she continued grading.

Bobby arrived with her hamburger. “You’re still looking stressed.” He put the sandwich down in front of her, then reached behind her and began kneading her shoulders. Ramona felt like melting. Bobby’s hands were large and warm. His strong fingers dug into the tense muscles supporting her neck. “Your neck is like a rock.”

Ramona suppressed a groan, the massage felt so good. She felt like all of her muscles turned to jello. Bobby did know how to touch, okay this wasn’t the touch her friends seemed to seek out, but she would take it. “You need to go home and soak in a hot tub, that will help.” His thumbs continued to press circles next to her spine. Ramona could barely think.

“Ahh, I don’t have a tub, just a walk in shower. It sucks.”

Bobby continued working his hands over her shoulders.

“I think you missed your calling. You would make a killing as a masseuse.” Ramona almost purred.

His hands stopped, he patted Ramona on the shoulder. “I have a tub you can borrow.”

“What? Really? I don’t want to impose, but oh my God really?”

“Yeah, be right back.”

Ramona sat stunned. Bobby had a tub, and he was going to let her use it. Oh no, he’s hitting on me, wait Bobby never does that, he doesn’t need to. Her thoughts raced from the joy of a tub, to being worried if it was a come-on, and if she really wanted to be another notch on his belt or not. He was good looking, and nice, and that massage had felt so good. She wouldn’t mind a full body rub down. All the tension he had managed to work out of her neck returned. She shook her head, stop over thinking girl. She focused on eating her hamburger.

“Okay,” he was back. “I have an outdoor tub.”

“A hot tub?” Oh, that would be perfect she thought.

“No, just a tub. A really big tub. It has its own hot water heater, so it could be a hot tub, but no bubbles. I’m here all night, so if you wanted you could go over an use it.”

“Are you serious?” Ramona’s eyes were large saucers as she eagerly looked at Bobby. A tub! A bath!

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Look my dogs will be out, but they won’t bother you. Just tell them to shut up, use their names so they think they know you.” He picked up the pencil she had been marking papers with, tore off a sheet from his order book, and scribbled down his address.

“I’m out on east 2280, dented white mailbox just past a red cattle gate. Una is the big brown hound, Deuce looks like a white pit, Tre is the gray mutt. They are all bark. Like I said, use their names tell them to shut up, and they will calm down. Tre might jump a bit, but they’re harmless.”

Ramona took the scribbled address. “Your dogs are named one-two-three?”

“And the cat is Cat.”