meeting parents – Lulu M Sylvian

The Twelve Dates of Christmas: the ninth date

Ladies Dancing

I slept in. Chris was already gone by the time I woke up. I padded my way down the long hall. I wanted to see if I could snag one of those delicious butterscotch bars for breakfast. I heard voices in the kitchen, and headed that way, figuring I would find Chris there.

The voices began to sound strained, so I paused.

“I like her a lot. Will you try to be nice?” I heard Chris’s voice. I leaned against the wall so I could listen in.

“But why?” Mike whined.

“Because I’m serious.” Serious? That’s a big word in a relationship. I think I just fell even harder.

“I’m glad you found someone son, but Mike’s right, she’s not your usual type,” Pat said. Funny. Pat maybe mom now, but her words seemed more like a dad to me. Of course Pat had years of dad first before she became a mom.

“What? A beautiful woman?” Chris asked. I think I needed to kiss him for that.

“She’s fat.” Mike was not my favorite person right now. I turned to leave. I didn’t need to listen to this. Chris’s family was skewering me. Okay fine, I’m not what they had in mind for their son and brother, but it really wasn’t their decision.

I turned to leave but found Grace standing next to me. Her finger lay over her lips in a shushing gesture. She placed a hand on my forearm to keep me in place.

“What Mike means is she’s not, well,” Pat paused, searching for a word. “She is not as physically fit as you have always been drawn to.”

“She’s not fat, she’s, she’s average. And how do you know she’s not fit?” Chris defended me again. My heart beat hard with emotion. It was difficult to listen to someone tear you down, but Chris’s replies made me smile, even though I had started crying.

“She’s a cow. She’s always spilling food on her shirt. And her boobs are huge.” Mike said that like it was a bad thing, a very bad thing.

“She is well endowed, that’s different for you.” Pat seemed to be on Mike’s side. Did she think I was a cow too?

“So she’s chesty. Breasts are amazing, I’m wondering how I never realized that before. Yes, she’s different physically, that’s because I’ve been a jackass for only looking at a woman’s shape to determine her worth. And I only ever dated runners. Honestly, I’m beginning to wonder if I haven’t been wrong about my physical type all these years. And you know something, that’s really rich coming from you. You weren’t even the same gender when you and mom got married. So don’t talk to me about physical types.” Chris barked at them.

“Man the sex must be something else. She has you so whooped.”

A crash, a thud, and a lot of cussing.

Mike ran past us with a bloody nose. Chris stormed out after him. He stopped when he saw me. He took one look at the tears streaming down my face and pulled me into his arms. He held me tight, slowly rocking back and forth. I held on to him like he was my life saver in a drowning pool.

“Aw crap,” I heard Pat. Clearly, she had followed her sons out into the hall. “How much of that did she hear?” She asked.

“All of it.” Grace sounded pissed.

“I’m sorry.” Pat started.

“Not now mom,” Chris said into my hair.

We just stood holding onto each other for a while. He leaned back and wiped my tears. “My brother is an asshole.”

I nodded in agreement.

“And what they said was stupid. You know that right?”

I nodded some more.

He pulled me in for more hugging. “And your breasts are outstanding.”

“You like my boobs?” I sniffled.

“I like you, and its pretty cool you come with the boobs. I like the boobs.” He said into my hair.

“Let’s get out of here. Grab your skates, we’ll get lunch somewhere then hit the beach for skating.”

I nodded.

“I need to change,” I said.

“Okay. I’ll be out front.”

I nodded and padded back down the hallway to his bedroom.

Now skating I love, it feels like I’m flying. I don’t know if Chris got the same adrenaline rush from it as I did, but skating right now was a really good idea. It would whisk away the hurt feelings and the overwhelming sense of worthlessness.

I had to dress right. There was a sense of badassery that was supported by short shorts and stripey knee socks. Plus I really wanted to look hot for Chris. I rubbed chaffing gel on my inner thighs. Yes, they were a bit on the larger size, and yes they touched, but they didn’t need to court unnecessary chub rub.

I tossed on my hoodie, grabbed my skate bag and headed outside to meet Chris.

His grin said it all, he definitely liked my skating look. “Damn, you’re sexy.” He put his hands on my hips and looked me up and down.

I heard Mike scoff, and watched him get into the back of his parent’s car.

“Mom insists that we all have lunch and go to the beach together. It’s her way of trying to smooth things over. I tried to explain that you might not want to be around Mike for a few hours, but I lost.” Chris spoke through his teeth. He was not happy about the whole thing. “However, I do get to drive you alone, in my car. You do not have to be in a car with that little asshole.”

I sighed. “I can play nice through lunch. But once we’re on skates all bets are off.”

“Why do I get the feeling you aren’t telling me something?” Chris asked.

“Let’s just say I have a surprise of my own.”

Lunch was strained, tasty but strained.

We geared up in a parking lot near the trailhead. Chris said the trail made its way past the beach and continued on out for a while. I put on my knee pads before lacing on my skates. I stood slipping on wrist guards when Mike did a hockey stop in front of me, trying to show off and be intimidating all at once.

“What the hell, roller skates? Knee pads? This isn’t the rink little girl.”

I stood with my hand on my hip and glared at him. I could squash him, and yet there he was trying to intimidate me.

Mike continued to laugh. “All dressed up so we think you play roller derby?” He mocked.

I didn’t move, my expression the same.

“Mikey, I think the answer is she does play roller derby.” Chris smacked his brother on the shoulder, hard. Mike wobbled on his roller blades. Chris grabbed my hand and we rolled off together.

“So is this the surprise?” He asked.

“Sort of, I said I skate, I meant it. Maybe Pat and Mike will see that a fit woman can also have some body fat.” I took off.

I flew. Chris chased after me and kept up without any problems.

We skated, swerving in and around walkers and cyclists. I showed off and jumped over curbs, and on top of planters. My knee pads got used as I came crashing down more than once, but that’s why I wore them. I let the rush of wind and the adrenaline whisk away my worries.

I sat laughing on a grass embankment. “I needed that,” I said as Chris joined me.

“So roller derby? Really?”

“I sort of played before I moved here. Mostly just the workout team, and practice. I never made it onto the actual team. It’s a lot harder than people think. But it got me onto skates, and I love them. And I love that I don’t have to be skinny to enjoy it, and,” I grabbed my boobs and bounced them up and down. “These don’t get in the way.”

“You totally owned my little brother.”

“Good,” I said with wicked delight. That was the plan. “So do we wait for everyone else to catch up, or do we head back?”

Chris lay back and looked up at the sky. He reached up and grabbed my hand. “We can stay here for a bit before heading back.” I lay back to watch the clouds with him.

A soft breeze moved the clouds around, changing their shapes so they looked like ladies dancing on the wind.

Chris sat on the floor, on his makeshift bed. “I’m sorry my brother was such an ass all weekend.”

I shrugged. I didn’t want to say it was okay because it wasn’t. He really hurt my feelings. I let out a derisive snort. “But I showed him, didn’t I? Little twerp couldn’t figure out how to talk without putting his foot in it all afternoon.”

Mike couldn’t keep up with us skating. I’m sure there are other sports he would beat my ass in, but not today on skates. “Maybe he’ll learn to not be so fast to judge someone by their looks.”

“He’s an idiot, he won’t learn. I know mom got schooled. Plus I think she got in trouble.” Chris chuckled.

“She certainly tried to make up for it after that. Your moms are great. Sometimes we all say stupid hurtful things, as long as she realized it. I think she is genuinely sorry. Not so much Mike, but so what, I’m not here to impress him.”

“No?” Chris asked. “Who are you here to impress?”

“Hopefully you.” I stood over Chris in my pink unicorn jammies, forcing him to look up. I laced my fingers through his butterscotch hair. Yeah, butterscotch, sweet but not a sticky flavor, a sophisticated candy. That color left a better taste on my tongue than beer or dead grass did.

He put a hand on the back of my thigh and slid it up. I knelt down so that I straddled his lap. His hands grabbed my butt. “I’m very impressed.”

It was sexy, it was hot. It was going to lead to more. Especially the way he held on to me, and kissed me.

“I want you but I can’t do this with your parents in the next room, at least not the first time,” I spoke against his mouth.

He kissed me back.

“And what happens tomorrow when I take you home?” He nuzzled my neck.

“You stay the night.”

His kisses were magical; they took me out of my body and sent me out among the stars.

“You should go to bed. The sooner you fall asleep the sooner tomorrow comes.” His voice was rough with emotion.

“You’re eager for tomorrow?” I asked.

He didn’t answer, just pulled me in closer for more kissing.

I reluctantly left Chris’s lap and crawled into the bed, leaving him alone on the floor. “You could join me up here you know.”

He shook his head. “No, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t get any sleep.”

“We aren’t going to do anything.” I reminded him.

“I know, and that’s why I wouldn’t be able to sleep, not with you right there. Too much temptation. It’s safer down here.”

“Suit yourself.” I rolled over and pretended to sleep. It was a very long night. I had never been so eager for a long weekend to be over.

catch up on date eight

The story continues on Jan 3 with the tenth date.

The Twelve Dates of Christmas: the eighth date

A Quiet New Year

On the eighth day of Christmas, there were no milking maids, but there was a blue whale.

After the ball dropped and the glasses clinked, Chris and I eventually went to bed. I didn’t make him sleep out on the couch, even though he did volunteer. However, he did sleep on the floor. Sleeping in the same room was more like a sleepover with my new best friend.

We stayed up a few hours more talking about anything and everything. There were lots of “no ways” and “me too’s.” It was nice laying there in the dark listening to his voice.

The house was quiet when I woke up. Chris snuffled and made almost no sound. Nice. He’s not a snorer. I watched him sleep for a few minutes. So cute. My bladder insisted it was time to get up, so I heeded its impending need.

I crept towards the kitchen, being quiet in case everyone else was still asleep. There were no other noises, no TV, or music, or coffee maker gurgling that I could hear. I made it to the kitchen without seeing anyone. I really was the first one up. According to the clock, it was just past noon, we all slept in.

Everything for coffee already lived on the counter behind the coffee maker. This certainly made things easier. I started a pot, then tip-toed back to Chris’s room and grabbed my phone. I took a mug of steaming coffee onto the back deck and called my folks. I loved the back deck, it didn’t have a view, but it was outside in lovely weather, the whole point of relocating myself to California.

“Happy New Year!” My mom and dad yelled into the phone.

“Happy New Year,” I replied a little more reserved. “It looks like I’m the first one up here.”

“Did you party too much last night?” Dad yelled. They always yelled on speaker phone. I don’t know if it was because they thought I couldn’t hear them, or they couldn’t hear me.

“No, it was a quiet evening. We hung out and watched TV. But we did stay up pretty late talking.”

“So,” my mom began. “Who is this person again?”

“He’s a friend from work. The one I told you about on Christmas.”

“And you’re meeting his parents already?” The tone of my mother’s voice was mischievous, conniving, and if I wasn’t blushing so hard, really annoying.

“It’s not like that.” I lied to her. Because it was like that. This totally was a meet-the-parents deal, I could feel it in my gut. The problem was, I was still getting used to the fact that Chris liked me as much as he claimed. I know I certainly liked him that much.

I distracted my mother by talking about the weather. I missed the snow and the cold, for about fifteen minutes after I got off the phone with her.

I eased back into the kitchen, trying to stay quiet, to refill my coffee, and to snag another one of those butterscotch bars for breakfast.

Mike jumped up on the deck, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He grunted when I said hi.

“Are you just getting back, or have you already been up and out?” I asked.

“What’s it to you?” he snarled. Lovely kid.

“Curious. I think everyone inside is still asleep, that’s all.” I explained.

“Why are you up?” Mike slumped into a deck chair across from me.

I shrugged. “I woke up. You drink coffee? It’s fresh.” I showed off my mug.

“Are you eating that for breakfast?” Mike sneered at me.

“Yeah, these are delicious.”

“Those aren’t for breakfast.” His tone finished with an unspoken ‘are you stupid?’ “Breakfast is supposed to be protein or fruit. You know healthy food.”

I turned when I heard the door behind me slide open. I grinned at Chris. His arrival fixed my mood and wiped the sarcastic response I had for Mike from my lips. Chris’s hair stuck up funny, and his face looked sleepy hovering above the steaming mug.

“Morning.” He croaked. His voice wasn’t working yet. “Where were those?” He asked nodding at the butterscotch bar in my hand.

“On top of the microwave,” I answered.

He disappeared back into the kitchen, returning with one of the bars in his hand.

“So what are you two talking about?” Chris pulled a chair to sit close to me.

“Mike was telling me how eating a cookie for breakfast is unhealthy.

Chris snorted. “Bullshit.” He shot his brother a glare. “I’ve seen you eat cold pizza for breakfast.”

Mike rolled his eyes and stood. “Whatever.” He brushed past Chris. “You should be out running.”

The glare Mike shot me clearly indicated that was a dig for me.

“Dude take a shower before moms catch a whiff, you stink of weed.”

“Is he always so charming?” Brothers could be a sensitive matter, but this kid was being a grade-A jerk.

“He was cute when he was little. He’s been an ass since puberty kicked his butt. Don’t worry, I won’t go all protective big brother on you if you need to call him out on his shit. He didn’t grow up with Clara riding his ass so he has no manners. Sometimes I think the moms are too easy on him.”

“Clara?” I asked.

“My older sister. She was eighteen when the twerp was born. So he gets the loving older sister, not the evil sibling struggle for dominance that I had to deal with.” Chris’s smile warmed my toes, or maybe that was the coffee. I really liked being with Chris. We were both in our pajamas, both with bed-head, and both smiling at each other without any self-conscious worries. This was good, this is how it’s supposed to be, right?

We were still smiling like fools when Grace joined up on the patio.

“Oh, it is nice out here.” She exclaimed. “What are your plans for the day?”

Chris looked at me. I shrugged. I had no idea what there was to do in Santa Barbara.

“Hang out I guess.” He finally said.

“Nonsense.” Grace corrected. “Take Natalie out, show her Santa Barbara. Go to the mission. That’s always lovely.”

“That does sound nice,” I said.

“You want to go to the mission?” Chris asked.

“Why not? It’ll be neat. I’ll go get ready.” I jumped up to change. Chris grabbed my wrist as I walked past him. I looked down into his eyes. He tugged my wrist. I leaned down and kissed him, right there in front of his mother.

“Take your time.” He smiled at me, and I stepped into the house.

~*~*~*~

We held hands. I leaned into Chris’s shoulder, it was sturdy and strong. We looked at old buildings. There is definitely a reason it’s called mission style architecture whenever you see a building similar in style. Cause that’s what missions look like.

Actually, the architecture and grounds were lovely. I just was mostly focused on Chris, and being near Chris. We could have been at a mall and I would have paid just as much attention to my surrounding. And I would have been just as happy because I was with Chris.

We were good, and we didn’t make out while at the mission. That just didn’t seem appropriate. But we did make-out once we wandered over to the rose garden. Kissing Chris left me breathless and thinking about doing more than kissing. Necking in public put a damper on how far either of us was willing to go.

“So what do you want to do now?” I asked when we both finally came up for air.

The expression on Chris’s face answered my question, but that was not an option right now. I wasn’t dressed for hiking, so that wasn’t an option either, and we already had lunch.

“What do you feel like doing?” He countered.

I shrugged. “Movies? Zoo? Museum?” I offered a list of suggestion.

“There’s a natural history museum nearby. That’s always fun in a school field trip kind of way.”

I met Chad. Chad is huge. And I do mean huge. They always say that blue whales are big, but until I was standing next to Chad, the skeleton of a blue whale, I really didn’t quite comprehend that. And I found out that a clean and dried skeleton can shrink as much as twenty percent, that means Chad was even bigger when he was out in the ocean swimming around with his little fishie pals.

“Wanna see the planetarium show?” He asked. I nodded.

The place teemed with kids. I think we were the only adults in there without children in tow.

I blinked and tried to reorient my brain after leaning back to watch the presentation. “The soothing voice of the narrator almost knocked me out,” I confessed.

Chris yawned. “I know, I think I may have dozed a bit.” We watched a mom carrying a passed out toddler walk past us. “I see we weren’t the only ones affected.”

Chris led me through the exhibitions. They caught my attention better than the mission had. We spent entirely too long picking out our favorite butterflies, and I pushed Chris through the room of birds. They creeped me out for some reason.

“Now what?” We continued to hold hands as we slowly made our way back to his car.

“Home, dinner, TV. Or we could go see a movie tonight. Or we could go back to that drag show.”

“Or home and pass out?” I yawned. “Stick a fork in me, I am done.”

“How about we pick up a DVD for after dinner. Then it’s no big deal if you fall asleep.”

I’m not sure how, but Chris did accurately predict I would fall asleep after dinner while watching the movie. I remembered it starting, the next thing I can remember is Chris gently waking me up to lead me back to bed. I fell back to sleep as soon as he tucked me in.

catch up with the seventh date

the story continues on Jan 2, the ninth day of Christmas

The Twelve Dates of Christmas: the seventh date

7th

Seven Swimming Swans Court

I dumped my bags in my cubicle and headed upstairs to see if Chris was in his office yet.

His hair stuck up in different directions, and if it wasn’t for the change of clothes, I would have sworn he had been at work all night. I tapped on the door frame.

He swung around with an exasperated sigh. Clearly expecting it to be a work related interruption.

“Hi,” I said.

Without a word he got up and grabbed me in for a bone crunching hug. As he held me I could feel him relax into the embrace.

“How long have you been here?” I stroked his hair, no not peanut butter. Maybe gold was the right color.

“I’ve been here since before six. But the good news is I should be done before four, so we can leave on time.”

“And how late were you here last night?” I asked.

“I was home and tucked into bed by midnight.” He smiled at me.

“So you crashed, and face planted fully dressed into bed at 11:59 right?”

“Pretty much.” He laughed. “Let’s go get some coffee, I could use a break.”

I sipped my coffee slowly as we headed back upstairs from the coffee shop in the lobby. The elevators were crowded, and neither of us felt awake or energetic enough to take the stairs up four floors. Chris walked me back to my cube. His eyebrows shot up when he saw my bags in my cube.

“Oh, I took Uber in. I figured it would be easier coming back on Monday to not have my car here.” I explained.

“Smart.” Then he kissed me.

We skipped lunch so Chris could get all the reports finished that he needed complete by year end.

At three forty-five, an exhausted sexy man showed up in my cube to sweep me away for the weekend.

We necked in his car in the parking lot for at least thirty minutes before leaving. I was breathless and giddy when we stopped kissing.

I watched the golden, water-starved hills pass the car window. That was close to the color of Chris’s hair. I sighed. Dead grass. Nope. It might be a great color, but it was the opposite of sexy. Dead grass hair. I couldn’t do that, Chris’s hair was sexy, it deserved better.

Chris pulled into a subdivision. I giggled at the street names: Leaping Dolphin Drive, Flying Bird Lane, Swimming Swans Court. He pulled into a long ranch style house on Swimming Swans.

We left our bags in the car, and I followed him into the house.

“Moms, I’m home.” He called out.

A tall woman with similar bone structure to Chris came from one direction, and a slighter, smaller woman greeted us from another.

“You brought someone with you!” The taller of the two women exclaimed as she hugged Chris. She held out her hand to me. “I’m Pat. And this is Grace,” she said turning to introduce the smaller woman. Grace had the same eyes as Chris. I was confused. I swallowed down my surprise and smiled, and hoped I didn’t say anything stupid.

“This is Natalie.” Chris wrapped an arm around my shoulder as he introduced me.

“Nice to meet you both,” I said as we shook hands.

“Mike is around here somewhere. You can meet him later. Why don’t you get your bags, and Chris will show you to his room.”

Pat made noises about having something baking in the kitchen. She and Grace disappeared in what I assumed was that direction as we headed back outside.

I blinked and stared at Chris as he handed me bags. I followed him silently as he led me down a long hallway and into a guest room, that clearly had been his bedroom in the past.

“Where am I gonna sleep?” I asked. I had too many questions in my head, but this was the topic I felt safest dealing with.

“You can have the bed, and I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“Isn’t there another room for me?” I wasn’t ready to sleep with Chris just yet, at least I didn’t think I was.

“Not unless you want to bunk in with my little brother. And he’s smelly. If you want I can sleep out on the couch.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry, I just wasn’t expecting this.” I motioned to the room.

“It’s okay. Moms probably aren’t sure either. I forgot to mention I was bringing you along. I wanted it to be a surprise.” Chris pulled me into his embrace. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. You’re full of surprises by the way. Two moms? You could have warned a girl.” I scolded.

“Think of it as a litmus test, you passed with aplomb.”

“Why thank you. So is it tacky to ask which one is your bio mom?”

“Grace is my biological mother.” I could see that, after all, they had the same eyes. “And Pat is my biological father. She started transitioning about sixteen years ago.” He continued.

I’m pretty sure my eyeballs popped out of my head.

“And your parents stayed together?”

Chris nodded. “Mom decided she loved Dad no matter what, and when he started to make the transition she supported him.”

“Wasn’t that hard on you?” Chris seemed completely at ease with it, and I think it would have freaked me out. “You were what? Fifteen?”

Chris nodded. “I was an asshole for a year or two. But Mom’s unconditional love really helped me to open my eyes and realize it’s not about body parts, it’s about love. Now here’s the kicker, cause I know you’re gonna do the math. Mike is my sixteen-year-old brother. You can say, he was their last hetero hurrah.”

Now I know my eyeballs popped out of my head.

“You’ll do fine. I kind of sprang everyone on each other. I’m not driving you to a hotel or back to LA tonight am I?”

“No Chris you’re not. Besides if you did, who would kiss me at midnight?”

He kissed me again, and the cares of the world went away.

I followed Chris into the kitchen.

Pat had pulled the most amazing smelling cookies out of the oven. She handed one to Chris then one to me. It was gooey and falling apart. Pecans, cookie, and melted chocolate and something else I couldn’t quite place.

“Oh my gawd,” I said around the hot goo in my mouth. “What is this? It’s divine.”

“Butterscotch bars. They’re Chris’s favorite.”

I looked at him. He smiled and nodded. Butterscotch. That was it, that was the perfect description for Chris and his hair. And it felt nice on the tongue. Butterscotch.

“His favorite? I can see why. So do you make these too?” I asked Chris.

He shook his head.

“I’m surprised if they are your favorite. I learned to make my grandmother’s sweet potato pecan pie since it’s my favorite.”

“I don’t make them nearly as well.”

“Sweet potato pecan pie? That sounds delicious. Would you mind sharing the recipe?” Pat asked.

“Of course. I ah, I don’t have it with me, but I can email it to you when I get home. Do you mind a swap, and giving me the recipe for this?” I asked.

I wanted to make Chris’s favorite food. I had an overwhelming need to cook for him, to show off my culinary skills, such as they were.

Pat shewed me from the kitchen and told Chris to get the grill started for dinner.

I sat on the back deck with a cold beer and watched Chris show off his grilling skills.

Every time I offered to help I was told everything was under control.

Mike cruised through. He gave me a glaring once over, was a brat to Chris, then left to hang out at his friend’s house for New Year’s.

Dinner was pleasant, then we just hung out and watched TV. Seeing Grace curl up against Pat, I took as permission to be able to curl into Chris’s side.

“Is this okay?” Chris asked. “I’m just beat from year end. I didn’t have time to plan anything. And honestly,” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t have the energy for much more.”

“This is fine.” And it was, besides I got to curl up against him and have his arm around me.

When midnight rolled around, Grace handed out champagne flutes.

We watched the ball drop for California and toasted in the new year. Chris’s kiss was the best way to start the new year.

catch up with the sixth date

continued on Jan 1 with the eighth day of Christmas