Meet Tom

Meet Tom. The Twelve Strippers of Christmas by Lulu M Sylvian

 

How’re you doing?” The man she’d inadvertently ogled had a square jaw lined with a thin beard, nice lips, and a voice like liquid chocolate. He gave Alexa a little upward nod of his head. It was a shapely head with close-cropped, tightly curled hair. He had everything nice, and that was why Alexa figured he had mesmerized her as he carried cases of beer and water from a delivery pallet on the sidewalk into a building.

No, no, I’m good,” she stammered. Oh my God, wrong answer stupid. And he’s wearing a Santa hat.

Red stocking cap with white pom-pom, tight jeans, and a T-shirt with the long sleeves pushed up. He didn’t seem to be bothered by the cold. Alexa sighed as she watched him pick up another box and disappear into the dark of the building. His jeans displayed his ass to perfection. He even whistled. Could he be any cuter?

You sure you don’t need anything?” he asked again. This time she registered hints of a British accent.

Just enjoying the show,” Alexa gushed.

By all means, enjoy away.” He rolled his shoulders, did an extra flex of bicep, and carried another box into the building.

Alexa’s brain, not firing on all cylinders, took a moment to realize that she had just come across as the vilest, most sexist pig ever. Had she been a man doing that to a woman, she should have been slapped. Instead, he flexed for her.

I just objectified you in a very demeaning manner, and you don’t mind?” she asked him after he jogged down the few steps to the sidewalk.

The man paused. Damn, he was tall. Then he shrugged. “It’s all part of the job. Look, if you want to objectify me without guilt and enjoy a real show, come by tonight. Doors open at eight.” He pointed to the marquee on the building behind him. Manfred’s Manly Male Review.

Oh. Right.” Alexa felt a little awkward, but she smiled. Alliteration always made her happy. Manfred should have used manifestation instead of review…more Ms that way. She had been ogling a stripper in his day wear, and he had just invited her to ogle him some more. “I think I just will.”

©2017 Lulu M Sylvian. Perfect Cup from The Twelve Strippers of Christmas. Available October 2017

 

Meet Seth

Meet Seth, The twelve Strippers of Christmas by Lulu M Sylvian

 

Bethy stared mournfully at the remnants of Christmas tree selections. The live trees were all dead and brown, and of the pre-lit trees, the only choices were too big and expensive or unnatural colors. She was not convinced this was going to be a good idea.

Seth tossed another box of frozen appetizer snacks in the cart. “I don’t know about you, but on Thursday I think snacks and movies all day sounds perfect.” His smile faded when he looked at her.

“Whats wrong, Bethy girl?”

Bethy sighed, the sweet and the bitter all mixed up into one. Seth already had a nickname for her, that made her heart soar. But the lack of tree options felt like a holiday kick in the backside. “No trees.”

“What do you mean no trees? There’s this one over here.” He gestured broadly at the huge example.

“Too big.”

“Okay, then we go avant-garde and get the white one and do all black and silver ornaments.”

Bethy giggled. “That sounds too chic for me.”

“Then we do white with candy colored ornaments. It will be festive.”

“A white tree? Will it work? Maybe no tree is best.” She shook her head skeptically.

“Of course it will work. It will be Whoville meets Willy Wonka. Ridiculous and sweet. C’mon.” Seth spun a pirouette in front of the tree then slid across the floor on his knees to be right in front of Bethy. “I’m begging, can we can we can we? Huh?”

Bethy’s face felt like it was going to crack in half with her smile. An older lady paused and said, “When a boy that good looking is on his knees in front of you, you had better say yes.”

Bethy started laughing. “Okay, okay, we can get the white tree.”

©2017 Lulu M Sylvian. Partridge in Her Pear Tree from The Twelve Strippers of Christmas. Available October 2017

BIG NEWS

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Happy Birthday to Me!

That’s not my big news- but it is my birthday. My big news is BIG, lots of moving parts! This post is just like an awesome birthday present to me!

Part One:
I am super excited to announce I’ve become part of the Griffyn Ink family! I’ve featured interviews here with several of their authors (Savannah Kade, D.B. Sieders, and Victoria Raschke) and now I’m one of them!

Super happy dance!

via GIPHY

Part Two:
Cover Reveal!!!
Did you see it yet?

Twelve Strippers of Christmas coming October 2017

Isn’t it awesome? It’s awesome! I’m excited!

http://lmsylvian.com/the-twelve-strip…mas-cover-reveal/

Part Three:
The Twelve Strippers of Christmas has a release date!
October 26th, it will be available in paperback and as ebook.
Pre-sale information coming soon!

It’s really happening guys! So freaking excited!

Part Four:
I’m excited to announce I will be one of the participating authors in November’s holiday release of St. Helena Vinyard Kindle World.
I will share more details as we get closer to the big event and roll out.

Each one of these announcements has me hand flapping happy!

via GIPHY

The Twelve Strippers of Christmas- Cover reveal

Twelve Strippers of Christmas coming October 2017

The Twelve Strippers of Christmas is a collection of short stories all around the theme of the Twelve Days of Christmas.

With a twist

and a thrust

and some break away snaps.

Available in paperback and ebook October 26, 2017. Presale info coming soon.

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Teaser Tuesday-The Twelve Strippers of Christmas

Whoo hoo, Christmas in July! Well, not really. But I am listening to a lot of Christmas music as I finalize this collection of short stories.

Here’s an excerpt from Les Poules Françaises

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“Dancing Queen.” Nick purred as Katie approach the front of the club. He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

She placed a hand over his kiss and blushed slightly. It was cute.

He glanced behind her checking to confirm she had not been followed by the grabby Gwinney.

“Just you?” He asked.

“I told you it would just be me. Disappointed?” Her smile lit up her face. Her eyes looked bigger and brighter with sparkling gold make-up. He wanted to poke his fingers through the loops in her hair style.

“Thrilled it’s just you. That Gwinney is like some excitable puppy who doesn’t understand the commands sit, stay, leave me the f*k alone.” Nick paid for their entrance into the club.

“She thinks you’re hot.” Katie explained as she followed Nick further inside.

“Of course she does. I am hot, and I work damn hard to make sure people know it.” Nick stroked his hand in the air down the front of his body, displaying the artistry that went into tonight’s outfit.

His hair had been shaved on the sides and piled high in the middle. Braids with beads and peacock feathers lined the side of his mohawk and draped down his back with the longer lengths of blue and black hair. His make-up was all in shades of black and silver. He wore a cropped leather biker jacket with a tight peacock print t-shirt. Everything else was black leather and silver studs.

“Modest much?” Katie laughed. She shoved her gloves into her coat pocket and passed it to the coat check girl.

“Oh, you should talk, Miss Victory Curls and swishy skirt. I don’t see you here in scrubs and nursing shoes. Why should women have all the fun in dressing up and looking good?”

“Point taken.” Katie agreed. “But it lures in hapless victims like Gwinney. And it confuses her. She sees the pretty, she wants the pretty, she doesn’t understand why the pretty doesn’t want her back.”

“Are you calling me pretty?” Nick looked down his nose at her.

Katie shook her head and bit her lower lip. He needed to get her on the dance floor before he pushed her against the back wall and messed up the makeup they both wore.

 

 

Teaser Tuesday: All I Want

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Jason led Amy out of the restaurant. He dropped her hand and then he spun on the ball of his foot, completing several full turns. He stopped with a jump, planting his feet. “Whoo!”

“I guess you enjoyed your supper?” Amy ran after him as he danced down the street.

Jason leaped onto a planter before jumping and landing with another spin.

“If you were singing, I would think I’d been transported into a musical,” she said, looking up to Jason as he spun around a lamp pole.

He smiled down at her.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you’re dancing up the street like a mad man.” She laughed.

Jason twirled and executed an undulating body wave before coming to a stop in front of Amy.

The breath caught in her throat as he merged their personal spaces. “You are music that makes me feel like dancing,” he confessed in a low whisper.

Amy expected her face to burst into flames with the heat of her flush, but instead it suddenly was cold and wet. She lifted her face to the sky to watch the sudden downpour overtake them.

She laughed. “It is like a musical, and now it’s raining.”

“You know what that means, don’t you?” Jason asked.

Amy shook her head.

“It means the hero gets to kiss the girl now.”

 

©2017 Lulu M Sylvian

WIP-IT Wednesday Camp NANO time!

Camp NaNoWriMo is a virtual writer’s retreat, designed for maximum flexibility and creativity. We have Camp sessions in both April and July, and we welcome word-count goals between 30 and 1,000,000. In addition, writers can tackle any project they’d like, including new novel drafts, revision, poetry, scripts, and short stories.” –from their website

I am taking this opportunity play along with Camp NANO, and the writer support I find there to power through the rest of the stripper shorts. This excerpt is “RAW” and unedited, cranked out just this month.

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The music changed dramatically from loud and booming, to tinkling and light. Christmas music filled the air, and Katie could hear the woman next to her singing along with the music.

The stage curtains slid open revealing a man half dressed in a Santa suit lounging on a throne. Two ripped men dressed as elves pushed the throne forward down stage. The audience squealed in excitement and delight.

The “Santa” lounged on the throne. It was elaborate, tall gilded, ornate, it was everything that a throne should be. The “Santa” was not. He defied anyone’s preconceived notion of what a Santa was. There was no body fat on the man, he was lean and muscular. His long limbs betrayed his extensive height. His long scarlet robe of velvet, lined in ermine fur, cascaded around his frame, open, displaying an impressive collection of chest and abdominal muscles. Matching red britches and knee high boots completed his costume. There wasn’t a gray or white hair anywhere on his head or face. Thick wavy ginger hair graced his head under a crown of holly leaves and berries, no stocking cap with a ball of fluff on the end for him. The smirk across his face denoted his withering scorn for the scene before him. He kicked lazily in time to the music.

Now that’s a bad-ass man who clearly drinks tea. Holy Crap! Katie covered her mouth in an excited silent scream as she realized she could leverage tonight’s show for her blog. She let out a particularly loud cat-call to celebrate that this evening had just become a tax write-off. It looked like the wishing tea really did work.

The elves slid the throne back and to the side. Katie recognized her morning ogle victim as one of the two elves. Katie’s jaw dropped open. She had thought he looked hot and cute wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Now, shirtless with an open vest, poofy pants, and curly-toed shoes, he made a ridiculous elf costume look sexy. Santa deigned to get off of the throne. He tossed his long velvet cloak back onto the throne, the elves flanked him.

Three sexually-intimidating, ripped, with more abs than should be legal, Christmas characters stood poised ready to thrill.

“That’s one elf that can be on my shelf anytime.”

©2017 Lulu M. Sylvian

Playing with names

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The naming of cats is a serious matter.

Cats are tough, characters are tricky. You have to encompass all that is that person into a few collection of letters.

Think about it. How does your name define you? You have had your entire life to create that definition for your collection of letters.

Typically my characters come with names. I am currently working on a collection of Holiday short stories for release in the fall. Sometimes the characters tell me their names, sometimes their names are a struggle.

In Bang a Drummer I knew the male was Lance. A friend laughed at me and told me that was appropriately phallic. I had NEVER made that connection before. I was having issues with the female lead, she wasn’t very forthcoming with her identity.

Since I am playing with some twists based on Shakespeare’s play Twelfth Night, same friend (who laughed about Lance) helped me with some derivatives on names. She was smart and informed me that Viola is a variation of Violet, and this led to the name Lettie. Something I had not thought of: she Googled variations of the name. My idea of twisting names is to take the character I’m using as inspiration and mash it up with something I know. Example: Sebastian, so I, of course, think of Sebastian Stan, and thus the character is now named Bucky.

In Calling Bird, my main male character is a rocker turned stripper. He’s a “classic” rocker boy, ripped-off sleeves, leather, studs, long hair. And, because I appreciate the glam of hair bands, he wears a little guy-liner. I wanted a name that ended in the ee sound: Nikki, Johny, Robbie, Ronnie, Tony, Billy. Came up with a brilliant name, started writing with it, my character liked it, settled into it like a comfortable denim jacket. Then the name started to rub funny, it got uncomfortable and itchy. Turns out it was the name of a medical specialist we saw when my kid was an infant. Scratch that one off the list. Ended up with Lonnie Rose. He had at least three names before settling on that one. The heroine, she was easy peasy. Waltzed right in, her name is Ava, she’s a nurse. It was like she just handed me her credentials, I knew all I needed to know immediately.

These are the couple names I have so far for ...currently untitled collection of stripper shorts around a holiday theme…(titles thats a whole ‘nother ball of sticky wax when it comes to names)

  • Lettie and Lance
  • Ava and Lonnie
  • Clary and Josh
  • Rose and Jimmy
  • Glori and Blaze
  • Iona and Derrick
  • Bethy and Seth
  • Amy and Jason
  • Kris and Tom

Looking for names? Check out these name sites:

http://www.babynames.net/

http://www.behindthename.com/names/usage/medieval

http://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/

http://www.babynamesofireland.com/

Wip-It Wednesday: Celebrations

This is unedited RAW, straight from whatever project I happen to be typing away on.  I definitely have a goal in mind, and this (in some edited form) should see the light of day this time next year.

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X dragged behind her friends, This isn’t exactly what I meant when I said I wanted to celebrate Chrissmis.

“What you don’t want to see nude males in zero G?” Zora flopped her finger around mimicking humanoid -male genitalia in no gravity.

“But this is how we celebrate.” Yaz whined.“How is your Chrissmis different?” X looked up into her friend’s large eyes. Yaz blinked slowly waiting for an explanation.

“It’s an old earth celebration, where you get together with friends and family. It’s quiet, and there is a lot of food.” X explained.

“And they burn trees right?” Zora asked.

“I don’t exactly know, I think it’s just a log. I read about it once and it sounded like fun.”

“Logs are trees.” Zora muttered.

“You burn trees?” Yaz blinked in amazement

“No, we don’t burn trees. Besides, I seriously doubt they would let us do that here.” X looked up as Asteroid Station Fergus extended thousands of feet above them, until it anchored again to a second asteroid.

Artificial grav fields and manufactured atmosphere, no, large open flames would not be a good idea.

©2017 Lulu M Sylvian.

The Twelve Dates of Christmas: the twelfth date

12

My True Love

I sat, despondent, on the couch, staring at the credits scrolling past on my TV. I did not have it in me to get up and change the DVD. I looked at the remote, hit the menu button, then started the movie again. Chris had gone into work, leaving me alone. I wanted to take another pain pill, but I couldn’t, not for three more hours.

I hurt, and I was alone.

Someone knocked on my door.

“Hold on, I’m coming, but I’m moving slow,” I called out.

It felt like an ice age to get me from the couch to the door. The pain management medicine skewed my perspective. For all, I know I actually sped over to the door.

I peeked to see Pat standing outside my door. I unbolted the chain and opened the door.

“Oh honey,” Pat said as soon as she saw me. She stood there with her arms full of grocery bags. What is it with the urge to feed people when they get sick or hurt?

She put her bags down and folded me into a large warm mommy hug. I needed a mommy hug, it was the best thing ever. So, of course, I started crying.

She eased me back onto the couch, pulled her bags in from the landing, and closed the door before joining me.

“What’s wrong?” She eased my head onto her shoulder.

I gulped and kept crying. “I just miss my mom, and I hurt. And I’m alone.”

“Sweetie, that’s why I’m here.” She patted soothing strokes along my hair and back.

“What?” I asked sniffing back my tears. I honestly did not expect to see Pat. I pretty much figured she didn’t like me and had just been playing nice since I was a surprise guest in her house.

“I’m here because my son is in love with you, whether he’s figured it out or not, and he is worried about you. You don’t need to be alone right now. I came figuring you could use a mom seeing how yours is across the country.”

I rested against her shoulder, just taking comfort that someone was here to mother me.

We sat like that for several minutes before I adjusted and let Pat get up.

“I brought all the ingredients for the butterscotch bars, and Chris said something about you liking bacon cheddar mashed potatoes. So I brought bacon, and cheese, and potatoes. You can tell me how to make that for dinner.” She carried the bags of food into the kitchen and began pulling things out onto the counter, and away into the refrigerator. “It looks like you are well stocked.”

“Yeah, my coworkers pulled out the stops and brought over all kinds of stuff. Which is good, because I didn’t have any food.”

Pat made herself familiar with my kitchen and began baking butterscotch bars.

I picked up my phone and texted Chris to let him know his mom had shown up.

He called me back, I picked up on the first ring.

“Hi.” I may have been overly enthusiastic to hear his voice.

“Hi, yourself. So mom’s there? Good, she said she would drive down.”

“I was definitely surprised, but I’m glad she’s here. She’s already baking. I think there is enough food in this apartment that I can safely eat myself into a food coma for the duration of my recovery.”

“You should rest, take a nap if you need to. You’ve got mom in case you need help with anything.”

I nodded and yawned, the nap suggestion was already working on my fuzzy brain.

“Are you coming by tonight?” I asked.

“I have to swing by my place to pick up some more clothes after work, but after that, I’ll come straight home.” He said.

“I like that. I like that a lot. I’ll see you later.”

“Call me if you need anything at all okay?”

“I will,” I said then I hung up the phone. I got to my feet and shuffled into the kitchen. “I’m going to go take a nap. You’ll be okay if I go pass out?” I asked Pat.

“You go rest. I’ll be fine. I can figure out how the TV works if I need anything I’ll just call Chris.”

I nodded and made my way back to my bedroom.

When I woke up the apartment smelled heavenly.

“I made butterscotch bars,” Pat announced as I shuffled into the living room.

“I can smell.” I closed my eyes and thought of Chris. I would forever associate this with him. “Can I have one? Or ten?”

Pat chuckled, she handed me two after I made myself comfortable on the couch.

“So what’s the plan?” I asked between bites.

“No plan, you don’t need anyone to cook. So I’m here for company, and to make sure you don’t need anything. A little later, I’ll let you talk me through those fancy mashed potatoes.”

I smiled as Pat took a seat. “I’m glad you’re here. I was really feeling sorry for myself after Chris left for work this morning. I didn’t want to be alone all of a sudden.”

“Good thing he called home, and that I have a flexible schedule. Grace is at work, and Mike is in school, so here I am.” She shifted in her chair. “Nat, I need to apologize again for what you overheard.”

I shook my head. She had apologized several times before we left. “You were expressing concern for your son. Nothing you said was really a personal attack. Just pointing out I am different. I’ve had time to think about it. I’ve met his ex, so I think Mike got it in his mind that women Chris like all look a certain way, and that Chris is a certain way. However old Mike was when that impression was made, it had been that way for a while. So in Mike’s head that’s the way it should be. Chris has changed along the way. Chris has been different for a while, even before I showed up on the scene. But with me being so much more different than his last girlfriend, it just pushed Mike’s buttons, and his reality is shifting, on top of that he’s sixteen, so his reality is already skewed.”

“You are being very understanding.”

“I think it’s the drugs talking. I’m not typically this insightful. He was still rude, and I’m not going to give him a pass on that. I just think I understand where it’s coming from.”

None of our other conversations for the rest of the afternoon were that deep.

Pat fried bacon, and I sat in the kitchen grating cheese. She had already boiled and mashed the potatoes, we were now preparing the goodies to be mixed in before it was put back into the oven to bake. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I typically use the frozen pucks of mashed potatoes or instant potato flakes. This would taste better with real potatoes anyway.

Chris walked in the door much earlier than I expected. He came straight to me and gently wrapped his arms around me before kissing me. He stroked the hair back from my face, “how are you feeling?”

“I’ve been good today. Your mom has been really helpful.”

He looked up, still holding me, “hi mom. Thanks for coming.” He released me, then gave his mom a quick hug.

I saw the look on her face. It was a mixture of pride and a touch of sadness. The pride that her son had found a woman to love and take care of, sadness that she had lost him to me. And that’s when I knew for certain, that on the twelfth day of Christmas I had found my true love. 

The End

catch up on the eleventh date.

©2016 Lulu M Sylvian. The Twelve Dates of Christmas