Fat shaming, cut that out

Musing from the Bread Cafe.

Fat shaming in the land of reading.

I’m not a fan.
And I am trying really hard to remember when it’s my place to speak up, join in with the pitchforks and torches. Most of the time I don’t have a dog in the fight, and the fight isn’t one that needs my rallying cry. I’m talking about all the “drama” that likes to stir shit up.

Sometimes I don’t want to provide even negative publicity to an incident, so I take myself, do my action, and walk away from the social media posts.

But a lot lately has been showing up and squatting in my path. And while I can take my toys and walk around it, sometimes that’s not gonna work out.

An industry cover model went on a rant fat shaming the world at large, and his clientele. When he said (paraphrasing here), “it’s all just lame ass excuses don’t tell me why you’re fat shut up,” I took him off my covers. I unfriended and unfollowed. Yes, I know he already has my money, so I’m just “hurting” my wallet by recovering. No, I’m saying my characters who have body dysmorphic issues, or weight issues deserve more respect from a picture that represents them.

I didn’t say much (at the time), didn’t announce I was recovering my books, and recreating promo materials, I just did it. Several other cover models spewed similar vitriol, and I hunted their profiles down and made note that those faces would never be on my books.

A few weeks go by and a reader sends a message to an author that they couldn’t meet her at an event because she (the author) had gotten so fat. The reader then proceeded to give this author dieting advice. My blood boiled. How f&&**ing dare that reader shame her for not looking a specific way. So, of course, I had to look up who this author was, and send a message of support. It didn’t matter to me what this author looked like.

I was shocked when I saw what the author looked like. From the post, I had formed a certain look in my head and I expected to see someone my size. She was slightly thinner than average. Read that again: a person with a slightly smaller than average sized body was fat shamed.

I did post a message of solidarity for the author, because …
so many reasons, where do I even begin?

Rude much? Not any of that reader’s business? If that’s fat, I don’t even what to know what they would say about or to me.

And that’s the big one right there: If someone feels they can shame an average sized author for not appearing to meet some random personal fitness standards, what the hell is going to happen when I show up?

I’m fat. Big, large, plus sized. Have been most of my life.

And before anyone says by showing up, and living, and not hiding in a hole that I’m somehow promoting an unhealthy lifestyle, that’s some serious bullshit right there.

My health, my struggle, or my acceptance of my size is not out there as some excuse for consumption. I do not need to share my A1C numbers so that readers can decide if they want my books or not. My books are not about me. If they were they would be memoirs, and they aren’t. And if they were, all the heroines would be BBW redheads and all the heroes would have rocker-long black hair, they don’t.

Fat shaming, and all hate needs to go away. That shit is not cool. It is not the last acceptable prejudice that people can roll out, because it is not acceptable.

I’ve been stewing and thinking about whether I was going to post this or not, because it’s personal. How much am I willing to expose? How big of a dog do I have in this fight?

My dog is pretty big, and while I may not get online and rant and rave, I will be quietly in the back, slashing tires, and undermining the foundations in other ways.

Learning to be unapologetically one’s self is hard enough as it is. Shamers need to take a lesson from Thumper: If you can say anything nice, keep your trap shut!

Cover Reveal: Wolves of Wet Waterfalls

Welcome to Wet Waterfalls,
a minuscule magical municipality,
hidden in the Wind River Range of Wyoming.

Monsters are real, and love is magic.

WWF-poset-web

Wolves of Wet Waterfalls is a sexy hot reverse harem novella series.
The three stories in the novella trilogy are Stealing Joy, Finding Home, and Ending Torment.

stealingJoy-medres

findinghome-medres

endingtorment-medres

 

Available for presale!

AMAZON – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07PRNPJPZ
KOBO – https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/stealing-joy
NOOK – https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/books/1130910736?ean=2940161176078
APPLE BOOKS – https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/stealing-joy/id1456136609?mt=11
GOOGLE – https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Lulu_M_Sylvian_Stealing_Joy?id=fNWMDwAAQBAJ&hl=en

How to get a book sent directly to your Kindle device

A lot of authors will send out ARCs- Advanced reader Copies, and give away prizes in the form of sending their ebook directly to a reader’s Kindle device.
If this isn’t something that you’ve done, it can be a bit of a confusing PIA, because there are multiple steps to make this happen smoothly.

I have had several people walk me through the process because I can never find a step-by-step how to do this. And because of that, I decided to put together this guide.

This process works for your Kindle device and if you use the Kindle app.

These settings are not on your device but in your Amazon online account.

The links are the same accessing Amazon from the phone (I accessed through a browser and not the app)

Part 1 Getting your device’s email, and adding their approved email to your device

Step 1: get the email from where the ARC or prize will be sent from

Step 2: Log into your Amazon account

Step 3: From the drop-down menu under Accounts and Lists, select Your Content and Devices

accounts-and-lists

Step 4: Select Preferences and then select Personal Document Settings

preferences

Step 5: Locate your device’s email
Share it with the person sending you the ACR

kindle-email

Step 6: Add their email to the approved list

Just below where your devices emails are listed is the Approved Personal Document E-mail List
Below that is the add email link

click-here-to-add-approved-email

add-approved-email

Part 2 Getting your ARC

Once you have everything set up to receive documents, and they have sent you the ARC, you just need to send the ARC to your device

Step 1: Back under Your Content and Devices select Content
and in the drop-down menu Shows:XXXX select Documents

docs

Step 2: Docs will list the documents, free books and ARCs that have been sent directly to your device.
Select the Doc you want sent to your device, click the Actions button, and select the link to Deliver to Device

managedocs

 

deliver

 

Step 3: Check your device, mine has a display that shows ALL and DOWNLOADED. After the doc has been sent to your device it should appear under  ALL ITEMS DOWNLOADED, if not ALL ITEMS should have a drop-down option, select DOCS, your ARCs should be right there ready to read.

The last step is to enjoy your ARC!